Unless you possess the ability to read people’s minds (…in which case, let’s talk), there’s, unfortunately, no way to ever fully know how someone feels about you. This can be v upsetting if you’re dating someone who feels more comfortable talking about why Matthew McConaughey is the greatest actor on earth than how much you mean to them. Le sigh.
But FWIW, just because your partner isn’t exactly comfortable throwing out the whole “I love you” thing just yet doesn’t mean they’re not experiencing all the feels. In fact, there’s a v high chance that they’re feeling a deep love if you notice them doing any of the below things.
16 Signs He Definitely Loves You, According to Men
1. He picks up thoughtful gifts for you. Even if he’s not the best gift-giver in the world, he buys you socks with corgis on them just because he knows you love corgis. Know what I mean? He pays attention to things you mention, or at least tries to find something you didn’t even know you needed.
2. He inadvertently does lil tasks and chores you hate. Okay, so some dudes just aren’t big on gifts—and that’s fine! It’s a love language after all. But if he’s doing your dishes, taking your trash out, making your bed in the a.m., or doing any sort of chore/necessity that you would otherwise hate doing yourself, it’s a pretty good sign he’s got the hots for you, says Alex Z., 29.
5. He finds any reason to bring you up to his friends and family. Literally any reason. “When I’m in love, that person typically comes up more often than not in conversation with my friends and family,” says Hayden K., 25. “It’s like everything you talk about reminds you of a story with them.”
6. He doesn’t get FOMO when he’s with you. If a dude has the option to go out with his bois, 90 percent of the time, he’s going to go out with his bois. But if the question is: hang out with the bois or hang out with you, and he makes plans with you instead, that is a *chefs kiss* sign. “I know when I’m not having FOMO when I’m with them,” says Matt D., 25.
7. He’s (almost) always paying attention. You can’t expect him to have a perfect memory, and yet he remembers virtually everything. It’s not just because he has a great memory. It’s because he cares enough to focus on you. He puts his phone down or pauses his movie. You’re not an afterthought. “More than anything, just being a good listener is a good sign,” says Carter M., 26.
8. He lets you know he’s thinking about you. He might not text you “I love you” but he messages you when he hears that song you had stuck in your head the other day. Or that someone at work used a turn of phrase you hate. You’re always on his mind.
9. He drops everything when you need him most. It’s not even a question. If you need him, for whatever reason, he’s there. He doesn’t drag his feet or complain about it, or remind you later that he helped you out.
10. He notices when something is wrong, even if you don’t mention it first. He knows you well enough to know when you’re not in a great mood, even if you won’t admit it. But also, you should just admit it, since he knows anyway.
12. He leans on you for support. You’re his go-to. You keep his head on straight. He texts or calls you when he feels like walking out of work, or skipping a day at the gym. He trusts you more than anyone.
13. He supports your dreams. He’s not about to let you quit your job so you can move to Spain and try your hand at bullfighting out of the blue, but he absolutely would help you open your own restaurant, or go back to school to major as an engineer. Or… if it made personal sense to you, become a bullfighter.
14. He doesn’t hold a grudge. Sure you might argue, but he isn’t constantly mad at you. Communication is an important part of relationships, and you know that while things might not always be easy, you’re ultimately both willing to put in the effort to fix things.
15. He brags about you. Sometimes you feel like he’s more proud of your new work promotion than you are.
16. You catch him staring at you and smiling to himself. If you’ve ever witnessed that, it’s safe to say he’s crazy about you.